Today, MailLift launched the “Kitten-Written Letters” to help salespeople close more deals and sales with letters written by kittens. Salesforce agreed to partner with MailLift to free tired hands of salesmen.
When asked, sales professionals say they would love to send more handwritten notes. We found that the real problem is that salespeople have forgotten how to write. Michael Buble, study’s lead author says, “Salespeople everywhere are afraid that prospects are not going to able to tell an a from an e. This will most definitely cause mayhem.” Then off the record Michael Buble said “I am lying about the whole mayhem thing.” We asked for samples of their writing, but we had no way of indexing the content as all samples were illegible.
Nikki Rostollan, who manages operations and fulfillment for MailLift is now overseeing all kitten hires. She is confident in their abilities and states, “All of our kittens start working for us doing quality assurance, checking for spelling and grammar errors. They have to work their way up just like their human counterparts if they want to be paw-writers.”
MailLift dreams of being the best writing service ever. When MailLift began kitten writing everybody’s letters, the feedback was exciting. Paw-written letters are the way the written word should be shared. The following picture illustrates the personal and emotional touch kittens have when holding pens.
Salesforce CEO, Marc Benioff, is offering MailLift’s kitten written letters to select Salesforce users. If you’d like to be considered, please email firstname.lastname@example.org and we will connect you to the appropriate representative at Salesforce. As of today, MailLift has over 100 new kittens ready to write for all the sales and marketers in the world. Curliss said, “Kittens scale quickly. We can ramp up to thousands of kittens in no time”.
MailLift also has “Write Kitten Write” gallery that allows users to choose their kittens. Once the kitten is done writing your letter, they will also mail you a picture of a collapsed kitten so you know they are real.
Salesforce users and MailLift’s friends and family around the world are now partying like it’s 1999.